Difficult times come in many different forms, some are
experienced on a personal level while other
difficulties are related to the
suffering of those around you. What is difficult to someone may not be
difficult for another, so for the sake of this post, I am leaving the
subjectivity of the word: “difficulty” up to you.
When something difficult
occurs in life, the automatic response to it is denial and blame – “Why did
this happen to me? The world must be cursed”. This is a natural way to response
to hardships, however life is not pleasant – so after being blown off your
course by several difficulties in a row, it is likely that you will lose all
your purpose for living itself.
I think that this is partially one of the main causes of
depression (along with the more biological ones). Knowing what to do in the
face of constant adversity is a skill that is extremely valuable. It will carry
you far into success.
So, if you are asking now, what do I do? Don’t fear my friend, I’ve got you. Here are some nuggets of
wisdom learned experience from my life, and advice from my ingenious fiance Ben.)
1. Detach yourself from the environment that causes you pain
When
difficulties come in a specific environment, in which you spend most of your
time in – it is quite likely that you will start associating the environment
itself with the difficulties.
Even if those difficulties occurred a long time
ago. It does not mean that you must run away from the environment, detaching
yourself mentally is enough.
Understanding that you can move forward in life is
an important step to overcoming the most difficult of difficulties.
2. Stop comparing yourself with other people
Social media
is a bottomless pit filled with lies and manufactured perfection. It breeds
jealousy, self-hatred and the need to be perfect in every way.
When you
compare yourself with others (especially on social media) you may begin
thinking that a good life is a smooth life.
Therefore, when any difficulty
arises – it will be the end of the world! Then again, when you are aware that
life sucks for everyone, as bad as it sounds, you will feel like you are not
alone.
3. Use life difficulties to build resistance and strength
Your body is
smart. When you get a virus, eventually antibodies are released to fight the
infection. When a similar virus tries to bother the body again, the same
antibodies are released more rapidly, this is called secondary antibody response or in plain terms – your body building
up a resistance.
Anyways, what I mean is that experiencing some level of difficulties
is good because then you can build resistance and strength.
This is why, being
sheltered in a little cocoon of safety has some of the most devastating
consequences.
4. Learn to accept personal responsibility
Not all your
life difficulties will have something to do with you, but some of them will. When
they are, you need to learn to accept personal responsibility and not isolate
yourself in a sense of contempt and denial.
Being the victim to life’s
unfortunate circumstances is far easier than accepting that sometimes – you
make mistakes too (we all do).
5. Understand that there is no sense in suffering
When life is
tough, you may try to find the meaning of the suffering (mental or
physical). Unfortunately, some of the
most awful of life difficulties have no meaning.
Sometimes there is no
explanation why something happened to you or those you are close to.
Difficulties can strike unexpectedly and take you away from control.
It’s easy
to fall victim to this sense of purposelessness when this happens. Instead of
obsessing over the meaning of suffering, understand that there is no sense in
it and then carry on with determination.
6. Become aware of your personal agency
The key thing
in not giving up in a life filled with difficulties is knowing that you have
personal agency. You are not being controlled by your life, life is controlled
by you.
The choices that you make, the opportunities that you take, the people
that you choose to speak to. You need to become an active agent of your life,
especially when difficulties strike.
Don’t be a marionette, cut your strings and act with agency.
7. Appreciate the little things in life
There is
goodness in life, however often this goodness is hard to notice if you are not
paying attention to it. Try not to be consumed by the negatives.
I know it’s
difficult because difficult experiences could lead to a negatively biased perception.
Try to feel grateful for the little things in life - that coffee cup in the
morning, the sunshine on your window, the cosy blanket on your skin… pessimism
and hating life will lead to nowhere.
That’s it, these are some of my advice to
help you survive difficult moments in life and feel happier. Everyone is
different in their circumstances and personalities, but I’m sure that these
nuggets of advice will benefit all. Keep your head up because you are in
control of your life.
Follow my blog for more advice and lifestyle
content.
Such an important post to share. I am a strong believer in self care and improving ones self! I am not perfect and there are a lot of these I need to improve on. Especially the comparing myself to other people! Also I just wanted to say I love the ending of your post where you say about the little things you appreciate in life 😊 well written post! Glad I came across it!
ReplyDeleteAshleigh x
Http://www.thestoryofashleighdavis.com
I love this post! The past few years I would say I’ve had quite a few difficulties that have definitely got me down, and so my New Years goal was to become more positive and to focus on the good things in my life rather than the negatives! Of course it is easier said than done but these are some great tips x
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful and such an important lesson for us to learn. We will all face adversity but its ensuring we've got the personal strength to keep going! Great advice. x
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post! Thank you for sharing your suggestions, Laura! Appreciating the little things is such a good way to feel more positive in any situation. There is always always something to be thankful and grateful for :) Fab post lovely, fantastic advice! <3 xx
ReplyDeleteBexa | www.hellobexa.com
What a brilliant post. It can be hard to stay strong in the face of adversity, but I think detaching yourself from the situation is an important one, as is learning to appreciate the little things in life. Great post, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteNicola
http://nicshealthylife.co.uk
This is such a lovely post! So positive and great for development! Appreciating the little things is always important! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteLauren | www.bournemouthgirl.com
this is is such a beautiful post, it’s so easy to forget these things. It’s just finding the strength and then you can get through everything xxxx
ReplyDeleteI think this is so helpful and will help someone who needs it, definitely appreciating the little things in life helps! Lovely post x
ReplyDeleteEllie // www.thediaryofellie.com
These are all super important and valuable things to learn! This is a great post, I believe we all forget these at times.
ReplyDelete✖️Jasmin
// overdosedoncaffeine.com
These are some important suggestions you made. I try to keep the negativity away and I am so happy right now. t is so important to appreciate little things. :-) Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteVia | http://glossnglitters.com
This is such a great post with so many amazing points! One that stood out to me was definitely the not comparing yourself to others one. It's so easy to pick yourself apart when you see other peoples social media but it's important to remember that what you're seeing isn't always 100% the truth. x
ReplyDeletehttps://www.femaleoriginal.com
Very motivational article Laura. All the points mentioned are spot on. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete