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Saturday, 16 March 2019

How to embrace change and find peace in an unpredictable life

Stacked rocks on top of water

The belief that pulls me out from the darkest places is that life is what you make of it. You can
perceive life with fear and become enveloped in avoiding opportunities of change.

On the other hand, you could train your mind into viewing life as your personal obstacle course for inner growth. Obstacles can appear unexpectedly so it’s natural to become afraid of the unknown.

Nevertheless, your fear of the unknown should not guide your behaviour. In this post, I will reflect on how to embrace change and find peace in an unpredictable life.

Life is too complex to always fall into pieces


I don’t know about you, but before important events I make up different scenarios in my head of how I want the event to turn out. Even when it comes to dull routines, I want my life to always fall into pieces.

Unfortunately, it rarely happens because life is unpredictable. When my perfect scenarios are not met, my mind breaks down. Life is too complex to always fall into pieces, you need to have an ability to adjust your expectations somewhat in order to find piece in chaos.


Change can come in many forms


Change is a broad concept, it can appear as an internal change or external change. Internal change is related to the development of your character. It’s like meeting childhood friends after a long time and hearing them say “I think you are so different”.

Internal change is the opposite of character stagnation. Staying the same with rigid beliefs is not healthy. In contrast, external change is related to your environment. Moving to a different location could be viewed as external change.

Changes that occur in the environment are not as easy to control as your own inner being. Understanding the differences of change will result in far more confidence. You need to understand the role that you play as a creator of your reality and a chess-piece of the environment.

Silence your negative psychological biases


Every little thing that happens to you can be seen as a negative thing or a positive thing. Sometimes your thoughts can be tainted by negative psychological biases, even when you are unaware of it, negative biases affect your attention and direct it towards negativity (sort of like a spotlight).

When your negative biases are active, of course you will avoid change because for you all changes are negative. To embrace change, you need to silence the negative biases in your head.

The main step in doing so involves realising that your behaviour is being controlled by a negative bias. Once you are aware of it, it’s far easier to train your mind to become more balanced.   

Find the stability in your inner self


At times, it could feel like you are a poor little sailor trapped in a ruined ship on the roaring tides, storm clouds floating above your head. The thunder piercing through your head like a deadly arrow.

The beauty of living comes with a price like everything else and that price is being a mortal inside chaos. While the unpredictability and obstacles of life cannot be avoided, you can at least find the stability in your inner self.

This would help you to be more accepting of life as it is. This sense of inner stability is so individual, and I’m only able to describe it symbolically when you feel it – you’ll know. 

The best version of you awaits


Everyone should be driven towards fulfilling their best potential. Carl Jung described individuation as the process of becoming whole.

How can you ever reach your best potential when you are afraid of unpredictability?  The best version of you is waiting for you to reach it.

It could be argued, that the best version of you is unreachable because self-improvement is always possible. Although, every future self of you that lies behind some kind of change will be better than the present version of yourself.

Everybody is afraid of the unknown


There is an element of self-compassion called ‘Common Humanity’, this is understanding that feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are universal.

I think that this could extend to the feeling of fear as well, because fear and suffering are closely connected. It is understanding that all humans suffer in life because they are afraid of the unknown. Having a sense of common humanity will reduce your loneliness and isolation.

You are not alone in the world, fear is a natural emotion but sometimes you need to step up and stop allowing these fears to control you. Everybody is afraid of the unknown. However, we all possess a capacity of becoming louder than our fears.


From this post, you have learned that life is what you make of it. Your perceptions dictate whether change is good or bad for you. You need to silence your negative biases by becoming aware of your cognitive limitations. Start listing your thoughts, destroy the ones that are unhealthy. Accept the complexity of life and that it does not fall into pieces. Live life of self-improvement, always strive for the better by embracing change, not isolating yourself in a cocoon of expected comfort. After all, change has more benefits than consequences, some benefits are just more difficult to notice at first.
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2 comments:

  1. Change absolutely comes in many forms. I can see that it is sometimes more or less challenging to recognise that but it's part of development. Hopefully someone who needs a post like this will find it and get all the inspiration! Have a lovely day, Iga https://www.igaberry.com

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